“If Not Now, Then When”
Done at Timeless Tattoo in Atlanta, GA.
Hello.
This blog features things that inspire me and the progress of my self-discovery.
in love with johnny & june
(Source: heartswander)
You’ve just got to be you and know out of all the people and things that will judge you, that God will love you endlessly.
Dear God. Hey again, it’s me.
Last night, I prayed to God.
It’s funny thinking about it. Because it came so naturally back in middle school, and into mid-High School. I honestly didn’t know how to relate to or understand anyone who didn’t know how, because I didn’t know what it meant not to. God and me were like best friends, from the very first day I decided to stop being a kid and start thinking about more meaningful things.
And that’s exactly it, I think. Whether intentional or not, that is exactly what I learned to do in these past two years of struggle and distance from God. I learned to relate to people. I went from this extremely closed-minded, stubborn, insensitive kid, to someone who seems to only want to be around the open-minded and adaptive ones. The flexible.
It was that my relationship with God was initially based off of the fact that no, I don’t know what the heck is right or wrong. That I don’t know God’s plan, or what he wants, or if I’ll die and find out I lived life completely wrong. Everything I believe was based off of that idea; the idea of “Well then, what do I do?”
Somehow in my pursuits of religion, I got deluded from that.
(Source: danvgar2)
110121. Inner strength; inner peace.
Okay so I’m actually insanely wiped out right now, so I want to make this quick. (Trying to recall any of it tomorrow just feels like it wouldn’t be the same.)
Today God’s lesson for me was about inner strength. It was about teaching me that “learning something” is not about a physical act of speaking a lesson out of any moment - that is something the most highly advanced robot could decipher. What is truly learning, is making it a part of who you are.
(Source: danvgar2)
vangard asked:
Believe it or not, I completely understand everything you said. Not because of the way you expressed it (though I'm sure it was fine), but simply because it describes perfectly what has been going on with me for the past two years. It's sort've my first real... "down", you know? I mean major one - like life changing one. Not one of those temporary slumps that I eventually get out of and grow stronger from. (Or rather... it IS one of those, but clearly much longer and deep-seeded than usual.)
It sounds like you are at a point that has taken me two years in the making to get at, though I'm sure we all have our different paths for different reasons. For once I am putting all of my excuses and hurt and fears and sins and experience and logic aside, and just sitting down with God to talk. No theology or guidelines - just me and God. I miss talking to him like he was my bestfriend. And all I’ve really been doing for two years is running away and filling a hole with ridiculously insufficient replacements. But nothing can replace God.
It's funny because after I read your post, my natural instinct was to offer any sort've wisdom I've come by or learned from and just throw it down like I know anything at all. But after a deep moment with God this past night, I felt God telling me, "Live with the uncertainty that you don't have all of the answers and that you can't help everyone as much as you'd like. At this moment, just show someone your love and encouragment, even if it won't really help them with what they’re going through."
I'm glad it had that good of an good impact on you, and maybe that is a lesson in and of itself from God; that all of my life, it has usually been the gentle and kind outreach of a friend that has gotten me to my next step. The wisdom and realizations come on their own usually... but it is impossible to walk forward if you're stuck on the ground. And when you've lost all of your strength to get back up again and again like you've always done, it is comforting to know that there is someone patiently waiting next to you for that moment you think you're ready to try again.
Thank you for your kind words, too. Somehow a strangers words always have a more profound effect, right? It’s a beautiful aspect of Tumblr - you get the stranger’s point of view. :) And yes I did know God will always be there for me, but... it's one of those things that helps to be reminded of again and again and again. So the thank you is mutual - for reminding me that there are others out there struggling just as much as me, or even worse. And that at the end of the day God is still there. He will always be there.
I am positive that when we both get out of this, we will be stronger and more fortified than we ever knew we could be. Kind've like how one pulls a rubber band back before it shoots forward?
I don't know when things will be okay... but I know they will. :)
God bless you~
It sounds like you are at a point that has taken me two years in the making to get at, though I'm sure we all have our different paths for different reasons. For once I am putting all of my excuses and hurt and fears and sins and experience and logic aside, and just sitting down with God to talk. No theology or guidelines - just me and God. I miss talking to him like he was my bestfriend. And all I’ve really been doing for two years is running away and filling a hole with ridiculously insufficient replacements. But nothing can replace God.
It's funny because after I read your post, my natural instinct was to offer any sort've wisdom I've come by or learned from and just throw it down like I know anything at all. But after a deep moment with God this past night, I felt God telling me, "Live with the uncertainty that you don't have all of the answers and that you can't help everyone as much as you'd like. At this moment, just show someone your love and encouragment, even if it won't really help them with what they’re going through."
I'm glad it had that good of an good impact on you, and maybe that is a lesson in and of itself from God; that all of my life, it has usually been the gentle and kind outreach of a friend that has gotten me to my next step. The wisdom and realizations come on their own usually... but it is impossible to walk forward if you're stuck on the ground. And when you've lost all of your strength to get back up again and again like you've always done, it is comforting to know that there is someone patiently waiting next to you for that moment you think you're ready to try again.
Thank you for your kind words, too. Somehow a strangers words always have a more profound effect, right? It’s a beautiful aspect of Tumblr - you get the stranger’s point of view. :) And yes I did know God will always be there for me, but... it's one of those things that helps to be reminded of again and again and again. So the thank you is mutual - for reminding me that there are others out there struggling just as much as me, or even worse. And that at the end of the day God is still there. He will always be there.
I am positive that when we both get out of this, we will be stronger and more fortified than we ever knew we could be. Kind've like how one pulls a rubber band back before it shoots forward?
I don't know when things will be okay... but I know they will. :)
God bless you~
Exactly, this has been my biggest down yet. People have always looked up to me for some odd reason, and I have always taken pride in that. So that forced me to be strong and hide my pain in fear that people will see me fall. Now, I realize I am not strong as I thought I was and I can’t be a hero or role model forever. That’s when I’m letting God do His job and save me, so I can get back to what I’m supposed to do again. It’s definitely caught me off guard, but I know time will be on my side. I’m glad your natural instinct came to effect on me. I feel amazing, waking up to your message today and seeing that you understand. That gives me peace of mind and heart that I can get through this, eventually. :) I was afraid that I was alone in all of this, but not anymore. So, thanks again.
Daniel V Garcia: Breathe in.
You ever think about the similarities between God and oxygen? As children, that was the analogy we always heard: “God is like oxygen; you can’t see it, but you know from your first breath that you need it. Like the wind; you can’t see it, but you can feel it.”
Think about how Adam and Eve…
(Source: danvgar2)
vangard asked:
I am not in a position at all to give any answers. But... one thing I was taught is that, the easiest way to see how we should treat others is to truly see and understand how God treats us.
From that perspective, think about how much love God gives willfully, without any of it returned. Think of how much faith and patience God has with each person, whether it takes them their whole lifetime to live up to his hopes and dreams, or if instead it will be their future generations of lineage that have to take up the torch and burden of their missed flaws. Think of how instantaneously forgiving God is for each of our actions.
I don't... really know the answer at all to your last post. And to be honest, I'm sort've looking for answers myself. I guess we've all got a sorry mess that we're in, right? We're all just trying to live life and make it right, I guess.
I don't really know how to live for myself either - I tried to in 2010, and I didn't really enjoy it at all. I don't know if I'm doing it wrong or... in any case, it's still a work in progress. And I don't know how to pray for you (though a long time ago I would have known how), because right now I am just beginning to learn how to pray for myself.
But be strong, in whatever it is that you are going through, whether big or small. You have my encouragement, and just from reading your thoughts, I know things will be okay. No matter how dark things get at any point in life, I know you will get through it. You are easy to believe in. :)
Take care~
From that perspective, think about how much love God gives willfully, without any of it returned. Think of how much faith and patience God has with each person, whether it takes them their whole lifetime to live up to his hopes and dreams, or if instead it will be their future generations of lineage that have to take up the torch and burden of their missed flaws. Think of how instantaneously forgiving God is for each of our actions.
I don't... really know the answer at all to your last post. And to be honest, I'm sort've looking for answers myself. I guess we've all got a sorry mess that we're in, right? We're all just trying to live life and make it right, I guess.
I don't really know how to live for myself either - I tried to in 2010, and I didn't really enjoy it at all. I don't know if I'm doing it wrong or... in any case, it's still a work in progress. And I don't know how to pray for you (though a long time ago I would have known how), because right now I am just beginning to learn how to pray for myself.
But be strong, in whatever it is that you are going through, whether big or small. You have my encouragement, and just from reading your thoughts, I know things will be okay. No matter how dark things get at any point in life, I know you will get through it. You are easy to believe in. :)
Take care~
I constantly think of what God does for me and for everyone. I want to follow in His footsteps but it is so incredibly difficult, because I can take and handle so much. I want to care for others but then I want to care for myself as well, but I can’t do both at the same time. My life has, so far, led me here, off-track and lost of what I am supposed to do. I have asked for repentance and strength but there’s something that’s keeping me down. I don’t know what it is. Is it the people I am surrounded by? Or is it me? I used to be an optimistic freak but now I always look out for the worst case scenarios in every situation. I’m fearful. I just want my strength and will back.
I know you will not completely understand everything I’m saying, because it’s very hard for me to express my feelings. I’ve always been the person and friend to give advice and guidance, not needing it. So just the fact that I’m admitting that I need help is scaring me.
But thank you so much for your reply. The words of wisdom and encouragement coming from a complete stranger and knowing that at least someone out there cares, makes me extremely grateful for this life. Your statement about believing in me is easy has got to be the greatest thing anyone has ever said to me from a stranger, friend or family. I don’t know who you are Daniel, but God bless you in all you do and all you will do. You may not know, but reaching out like you did has helped me in more ways than one, and I thank you so much for taking the time to read my thoughts and showing your empathy in this time of my needs. God has blessed you with such great insight that I can’t imagine you being in any kind of mess. But whatever you’re going through as well… God’s love is powerful and He will be there with you through it all. But I’m sure you already knew that. :) But thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
We all have a past. Is it the mistakes we’ve made that people choose to judge us? Or should it be what we’ve become of those mistakes? I used to be able to hold my composure so well, but now, tears are triggered at ease at the most random moments and places. Does that make me weaker or stronger? I really don’t understand this whole concept about, “What doesn’t kill me, makes me stronger.” I don’t want to be a cynic. I don’t want to hate the world and fear every single change in my life. I’m weak and am on my knees. I am vulnerable. I want to show every single ounce of my love that God gives me. But when that feeling comes, fear just overwhelms me. Will my love be returned? I know I said I would just surrender and live my life day by day with God’s will, but it’s so hard thinking about how much love I have to offer and seeing how much people don’t appreciate it. My whole life has been about caring for others. God cares for us eternally, and He does it with no questions asked, with no hesitation. Do I continue to love even when I am broken? How does this help me become a stronger, better person, because I feel drained. Would it be selfish if I stopped caring so much and worked on being more independent? Why is it so hard for me to finally put myself first?
God, give me strength to keep loving. I know my purpose is to show love and give love and to share love. I don’t want to do anything else but love, and I don’t think I can ever put myself before others. But I am receiving nothing in return from these efforts, and it’s pulling me down… I know You are watching, and my time of happiness will come. I just hope it comes sooner than later.
Stay strong.
